White Marks & Sparks Y-Fronts

Highlights from this week include my newly employed researcher being mistaken for actor Bradley Cooper by a visitor from East Coast FM,  team drinks with Ruth Davidson and Maurice Golden MSP guessing that I was born in 1978.

I’m hardly into week two and another SNP scandal gave pants for thought as Stewart Hosie’s preference for white Marks and Spencer Y-fronts was revealed.  Whispers reverberated around parliament that the MP for Dundee East and Angus McNeil MP for Na h-Eileanan an Iar had been sharing the affections of a woman who describes herself as a bona vide “nut magnet”.

Muirfield caused parliamentary and global controversy this week by voting against allowing women to join their club. The R&A responded swiftly by announcing that the Open would no longer be staged “at a venue that does not admit women”. Golfer, Catriona Matthew expressed her outrage and my comments of “outdated and disappointing” made page 5 of The Daily Telegraph. My letter to the Club Captain pointed out that members didn’t consider the bigger economic picture and the benefits associated with hosting an Open Tournament. As long as the post-match luncheon of roast beef and sticky toffee pudding, just like ‘nannie’ made are still served in the Clubhouse. Who cares?

New faces and shuffles in Ministerial Cabinet positions prompted our deputy leader Jackson Carlaw to present a particularly jovial response in the Chamber, teasing new transport minister Humza Yousaf and his predecessor Mr Mackay about their dress sense and hairstyles. He compared McKay to John Wayne in a three-piece double-breasted waistcoat and teased Mr Yousaf about kitting himself out in Prince Charming’s finale costume from this year’s production of Cinderella.  He also claimed that the new Rural Affairs Secretary, Mr Fergus Ewing had spent the last 24 hours listening to an omnibus of The Archers to prepare himself for the rural affairs brief.

This week saw my first ever interview with a journalist. In true tabloid attention grabbing fashion, Michael Blakley from the Mail on Sunday chose to focus on my comments about the current hot potato; gender inequality. His article “All women shortlists are rubbish says Tory” reported my belief that introducing 50/50 gender quotas to candidate selection and company boards is unfair. It’s true, we must bring more women into politics and boardrooms but forcing the agenda based purely on gender rather than merit will stimulate further deep-seated prejudice  and inequalities. Perhaps Michael had forgotten that we’ve had two successive females as Scottish Conservative party leaders?

Home sweet home to discover last Friday night’s Twitter feed overflowing with announcements that the glorious ‘Flying Scotsman’ wouldn’t be making an appearance in the Borders due to the failure of Network Rail to carry out essential safety checks.

Local business were informed that the landmark event at Tweedbank station to mark a visit by the nations favourite locomotive was ’orf’. As a local champion, it would have been nice to say that my early morning email to Phil Verster of Scotrail Alliance was the catalyst to pushing through the safety checks but ultimately, it was the collective influence of public feeling and cross-party political pressure that prevailed pushing Network Rail to facilitate the Flying Scotsman’s majestic journey along the gentle rolling Border countryside.

Weather stayed fair for the 23^rd annual horse trials held at Floors Castle providing a beautiful backdrop for riders of all abilities. Olympic rider Wills Ogden featured alongside teams of young enthusiastic jockeys from our local schools. The weather stayed fair and I came down to earth with a thump helping the team from the Buccleuch Arms pour pints of pimms to thirsty competitors.